HOW TO LEARN FROM FAILURE

The mark of success is the ability to accept failure and learn from it.

Here's how to make failure your friend and turn your failures into successes:

FIRST:  Don't take all the blame for failure.
No one fails simply because he or she isn't "good enough." Fight the urge to assume all the blame -- that is crushing.

Instead: Think through all the reasons for the failure, and put your own role in its proper perspective. People who overcome failure tend to be those who don't take it personally. They don't see themselves as failures. They see themselves as people who have failed.

Caution: Don't let yourself off the hook too easily. Always ask yourself what you might have done to increase the likelihood of success.

SECOND:   Take action to reduce your fear.
Once it is clear that you have failed at something, you may be reluctant to act until you can convince yourself that all possibility of failing again has been eliminated.

To free yourself to take action, accept the real possibility that you will fail again -- but also acknowledge that each failure offers a new chance to learn and move ahead.

View failure as something that happened in the past.
Recognize every day as a new day, with new opportunities.

Put this sign in your office, work area or your truck: "Yesterday ended last night". When you come to work the day after a bad day, look at the sign just to remind yourself. It always will make you feel better.

Change yourself, and your world changes.
If you keep failing in the same area, it is likely that the problem lies with you -- and not with the situation in which you find yourself.

Do you need to improve your skills? Did you pick the right people with whom to work?

Only by understanding your role in the failure -- and knowing what you must do differently next time -- can you profit from the experience.

If you're unable to answer these questions on your own, look for help. People who first failed but later succeeded at a similar task are well positioned to spot what you did wrong -- and to help you change to minimize your risk of failing again.

Keep in mind: It's not what happens to you that makes the difference. It is what happens in you.